Be the person you needed when you were younger

From the site TISL Style

“Be the person you needed when you were younger” was one of the most thought-provoking ideas I’d ever come across.  It’s so obvious, so hopeful.  It’s beautiful if you think about it.

Trying to be more for others than you may have had yourself.  This isn’t easy because it requires the ability to be truthful with yourself; to be vulnerable and say, “Wow, I needed this in my life but didn’t get it.” And I’m referring more to fulfillment than material goods.  “Be the person you needed when you were younger” just speaks for itself.

There are going to be peaks and valleys. You don’t want to let kids quit during a valley.

Advice from research psychologist and MacArthur Foundation “genius” award winner Angela Duckworth in an article titled Grit Trumps Talent and IQ

“I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something,” she says, “and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.” There are going to be peaks and valleys. “You don’t want to let kids quit during a valley.”

“Always have something to look forward to”

From a post titled Looking Forward to Something

What’s the best way to get through rough times? Create something to look forward to in the future.

Although it sounds rather simple (and it really is) most people choose to look forward to something negative rather than positive.

When you have something positive to look forward to, you will increase your general happiness and gain more confidence over your present-day trials and tribulations.

Okay. So what are you going to do about it?

From a post titled Okay. So what are you going to do about it? by Sebastian Marshall …

“Go to bed mad”

From an article titled “15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years” by Lydia Netzer …

1. Go to bed mad.

The old maxim that you shouldn’t go to bed mad is stupid. Sometimes you need to just go to freakin’ bed. “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” is prefaced in the Bible by the phrase “Be angry and sin not.” So, who’s to say it doesn’t mean “Stay angry, bitches. Don’t let the sun go down on that awesome fierce wrath of yours.” Seriously. Whoever interpreted this to mean that you should stay up after midnight, tear-stained and petulant, trying to iron out some kind of overtired and breathy accord — was stupid. Shut up, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I swear.

14. Be loyal.

All the crap you read in magazines about honesty, sense of humor, communication, sensitivity, date nights, couples weekends, blah blah blah can be trumped by one word: loyalty. You and your spouse are a team of two. It is you against the world. No one else is allowed on the team, and no one else will ever understand the team’s rules. This is okay. The team is not adversarial, the team does not tear its members down, the team does not sabotage the team’s success. Teammates work constantly to help and better their teammates. Loyalty means you put the other person in your marriage first all the time, and you let them put you first. Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse’s whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and some the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it’s your turn. Sometimes she’s in the spotlight, sometimes you. Ups and downs, ultimately, don’t matter because the team endures.

“When people show you who they are, believe them”

Conversation with Oprah Winfey an Maya Angelou from the web site MissMalini.com …

“When people show you who they are, why don’t you believe them? Why must you be shown 29 times before you can see who they really are?” So, when you see red flags in the beginning of a relationship – or anything, really – learn to pay attention to them. You may want to believe something else entirely, but some way or the other, people will always show you exactly who they are. You’re better off listening the first time, rather than waiting to be disappointed again and again and again before it sinks in.

People may not necessarily tell you in words who exactly they are – actually, chances are, they’ll tell you the opposite! – but their actions will always speak for them. When that happens, you’re better off listening and believing them rather than holding onto the (possibly deluded) hope that they’re not like that at all.

How To Make Your Kids Smarter: 10 Steps Backed By Science

Article from TIME magazine by Eric Barker titled How To Make Your Kids Smarter: 10 Steps Backed By Science

9) Peer Group Matters

So what does have an enormous affect on your children’s behavior? Their peer group.

We usually only talk about peer pressure when it’s a negative but more often than not, it’s a positive.

Living in a nice neighborhood, going to solid schools and making sure your children hang out with good kids can make a huge difference.

What’s the easiest way for a college student to improve their GPA? Pick a smart roommate.

  1. Music Lessons
  2. The Dumb Jock Is A Myth
  3. Don’t Read To Your Kids, Read With Them
  4. Sleep Deprivation Makes Kids Stupid
  5. IQ Isn’t Worth Much Without Self-Discipline
  6. Learning Is An Active Process
  7. Treats Can Be a Good Thing — At The Right Time
  8. Happy Kids = Successful Kids
  9. Peer Group Matters
  10. Believe In Them