This advice comes from the book Family First by Dr. Phil. He goes on to say in a later chapter …
“My family can enjoy a closer, more connected life together, sharing strength, with each person feeilng affirmed and feeling uplifted in life-changing ways. Mine can be a family that attains new levels of caring, encouragement and acceptance. My family will have opportunities to reach for the best and have the best. And most important, we leave no one behind.”
Often repeated quote by Dr. Phil. Interesting article by Linda Caillouet in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Dr. Phil says choices change lives …
McGraw told his audience that the choices people make directly affect the life changes they experience, saying, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.” He then explained that the driving force behind the choices people make is something he calls personal truth.
“It’s what you believe about yourself when no one is looking or listening,” McGraw said. “We generate the results in this life that we believe we deserve.” So how can someone with an inadequate personal truth improve it? McGraw said that, instead of just “shuffling aimlessly through life,” individuals should look for and identify their Godgiven gifts and skills, develop passions and set personal goals and priorities.
The poem “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris …
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
I’m guessing I heard this advice many times in my life but it was only in the last 5 years I started adhering to it.
This advice has helped at many times in my life and particularly with dealing with my own mortality. I no longer spend hours laying in bed in a cold sweat worrying about death. It’s ok to care about the things you can’t control, but if you can’t change them, don’t waste energy obsessing over them.
I read an interesting article a couple years ago by the NY Times Op-Ed columnist Maureen Dowd titled An Ideal Husband.
She credits Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J for this advice. The article includes the following quote …
“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends.”
Later in the article he is quoted …
“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours?”