“We Teach People How to Treat Us”

From Dr. Phil’s book Life Strategies

Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

“Get mad, then get over it.”

Attributed to Colin Powell (Chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, US Secretary of State). Interesting post written by Bruno Gideon titled Get mad, then get over it

“Being angry is okay as long as it is temporary. My advice to you is: to get mad, then get over it. If you let your feelings continue, they will boomerang and hurt you. Don’t suppress the emotion; allow it to come to the surface, try to analyze it, and then let go.”

It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.

From Reddit user bradlee92 …

“It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.”

From a tennis blog

“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect. So every time you repeat an action, right or wrong, you will find it easier to repeat that same action, right or wrong.

Practicing a bad shot will give you a better bad shot, but you will never look like Roger Federer.”

“Follow your fear … if something scares you a bit, it means that you should follow it a little bit

Tina Fey actress, comedian, writer and producer known for her roles on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock …

“Follow your fear, which in improv usually leads to someone making you sing an improvised song or rap, which is the worst thing that can happen. But the larger thing is the notion that if something scares you a bit, it means that you should follow it a little bit. Now, ‘follow your fear’ does not mean that you should get in the car with a weirdo in a small parking lot. But it does mean that there are moments in your life when something comes up, a chance to move to a new city, or the chance to study in another continent, read your short story out loud, and you feel a lot of fear. And that fear means that you should definitely do it.”

You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.

Katie Couric, TV Journalist …

“The losses I’ve experienced have taught me something else: We are all terminal. You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.

“Whenever you meet anybody, look for something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do cheer people up enormously.”

Quote from author Jilly Cooper from a post titled The 101 best pieces of advice ever received

“Whenever you meet anybody, look for something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do cheer people up enormously.”

The more a person is committed to a goal … the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient.

From a post titled “When Is a Negative a Positive?” on Freakonomics.com.

Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago …

The more a person is committed to a goal — and by that I mean the more someone thinks that they absolutely have to do it, they like doing it, it’s important for them to do it — the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient”

Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia Business School …

“Look, doling out negative feedback is not fun. It’s embarrassing. We feel terrible. We feel guilty.  So we love hearing, ‘Hey, maybe I don’t have to give negative feedback,’ ‘Maybe I can just say positive things!’  ‘If I just keep saying positive things, then somehow this person will work to their fullest potential and everything will turn out fine.’ And that just turns out to not be the case.”

Get on the floor with your kids. They’ll come over and climb on top of you and relax. The more you can get on their level, the less problems you’ll have.

From a wonderful article on parenting advice by Elliott Davis in the Boston Globe …

Debbie Leekeenan, Director, Eliot-Pearson Children’s School at Tufts University

“Allow your children the space to ‘fall’ so they can learn to get up. Teaching your child resiliency is one way to cope with life’s challenges. It is better to experience small setbacks when you are young and learn how to deal with them.”

Bob Monahan, Founder and owner, UPPAbaby 

“Get on the floor with your kids. They’ll come over and climb on top of you and relax. The more you can get on their level, the less problems you’ll have.”

Chritine Koh, Founder and editor, BostonMamas.com; coauthor, Minimalist Parenting

“Present good, healthy options, but do not force-feed them. That translates to everything, including extracurriculars and other activities. It’s about giving your kids options and encouraging them to figure out what works for them.”

Alma Wahlberg, Works at son Paul’s Hingham restaurant, Alma Nove

“Pay attention to what your kids are doing. Be interested in everything they’re doing and be involved. Don’t just send them off to the game. Somebody’s got to go and watch.”

Jeff Kinney, Author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid series

“Use the phrase ‘I understand’ with your kids, especially when they’re angry or upset. I’ve found that by telling your kids that you’ve felt what they’re feeling — even if what they’re feeling is irrational — it lets them know you’re on their side.

Toughness has nothing to do with size, physical strength or athleticism … I believe that toughness is a skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and improved.

From the book titled “Toughness” written by former Duke basketball player and ESPN Analyst Jay Bilas …

Toughness has nothing to do with size, physical strength or athleticism. Some players
may be born tough, but I believe that toughness is a skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and improved. Michigan State coach Tom Izzo always says, “Players play, but tough players win.”

Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do.

Career advice from Steve Levitt co-author of Freakonomics

“Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do. The worst thing in the world is to find some kind of job that everybody wants to do – like being a rock star.”

“You have to find something that is idiosyncratically something you love but everyone else despises. So if your dream is to be a garbage man, for instance, you’re guaranteed to have success in life.”

Take risks when you can

From a CNNMoney feature titled The smartest advice I ever got by Chris Larsen Founder, E-Loan.com and Prosper.com …

“Cut the lifeboats.” I heard this from Jim Collins, who wrote “Built to Last” and was the best M.B.A. professor I had at Stanford. He pleaded with the class, saying, “You’re young. You can fail two or three times, even lose all your money two or three times, and you’ll be just fine. Taking that risk puts you in the path of wealth.”

If he hadn’t said that, I probably would have taken a job, like a typical M.B.A., instead of founding a company. Starting my own business seemed so risky, but maxing out credit cards or even going bankrupt isn’t so risky if you do it at a young age. You’ll never regret taking those risks, but you might regret it if you don’t.

These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.

From Mike Rowe, host of “Dirty Jobs” from The Best (and Worst) Graduation Advice You Never Heard

“That earlier bit about ‘not following your passion’ doesn’t mean that you should take a job you’re not passionate about. It means you should be passionate about whatever job you take. And if you aren’t, act like you are anyway. Get in early. Stay late. Always volunteer for the skut work. If I’ve learned anything from Dirty Jobs, it’s that meaningful work can be found anywhere — sewers, maggot farms, funeral homes, oil rigs. I’ve met hundreds of very successful entrepreneurs who go home every day covered in crap. Literal, actual crap. These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.”

“You can’t have everything you want, but you can have everything that matters to you”

Quote from Marissa Mayer, Google’s Vice President of Location and Local Services on Callie Schweitzer’s blog on Huffington Post …

“…she believes there’s no such thing as burnout — you can work really hard for the rest of your life as long as you know what matters most to you and make sure you get that.

What causes burnout, she said, is the build up of resentment at having to give up what really matters. Is it dinner with friends on Tuesday nights? A movie with your husband on the weekends?

Whatever it is, make sure you get it because otherwise you’ll spend the rest of the week resenting what you didn’t get to have — what work deprived you of, and you’ll be less productive.

“Sometimes quitting is strategic, and sometimes it can be your best possible plan”

From the a podcast titled “The Upside of Quitting” on Freakononmics.com

“To help us understand quitting, we look at a couple of key economic concepts in this episode: sunk cost and opportunity cost. Sunk cost is about the past – it’s the time or money or sweat equity you’ve put into a job or relationship or a project, and which makes quitting hard. Opportunity cost is about the future. It means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else – something that might make your life better. If only you weren’t so worried about the sunk cost. If only you could …. quit.”

“Be polite, don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.

From a post titled 60 Ways To Make Life Simple Again

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.
2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.

‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

From a commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 …

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

“Do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it”

From a post titled The best advice I ever received by Bob Borson …

“This has everything to do with you making someone elses life easier. You manage to do that on a consistent basis, people come to rely on you and know that you can be counted on. Eventually, you move beyond being the first choice and become the only choice.

The caveat to this advice is if you can’t follow through, you need to let someone know the instant you realize it.”

“Let them know, in word and action, “I am behind you, I know you can do it!”

Parenting advice by Dr. Lisa Chu  The many ways to say, “You CAN do it!” …

“I’m saying it so that you hear my belief in your spirit, in your ability to find it in yourself to do whatever it is you need to do, to take whatever time you need to, and to be wherever you are right now. I’ll be right here to witness you – to celebrate with you, and to catch you when you fall – as you learn to trust yourself.”

 

A post by Dr. Dave Currie titled Raising Confident and Secure Children …

“Build you kids up. Believe in them. Be their greatest fan. Let them know, in word and action, I am behind you, I know you can do it!”

 

From Dr. Michele Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions … 

You might say, “I know you can do it. Hang in there.” Of course, when your son or daughter finds the task too difficult and quits, support them. Then help them recognize what they could do the next time so they do succeed.

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”

From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies

“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”

“Arguing Is Pointless”

From Peter Bregman of the Havard Business Review Blog Network titled Arguing Is Pointless …

“Think about it. You and someone have an opposing view and you argue. You pretend to listen to what she’s saying but what you’re really doing is thinking about the weakness in her argument so you can disprove it. Or perhaps, if she’s debunked a previous point, you’re thinking of new counter-arguments. Or, maybe, you’ve made it personal: it’s not just her argument that’s the problem. It’s her. And everyone who agrees with her.

In some rare cases, you might think the argument has merit. What then? Do you change your mind? Probably not. Instead, you make a mental note that you need to investigate the issue more to uncover the right argument to prove the person wrong.”

“Life’s two most important questions are “Why?” and “Why not?” The trick is knowing which one to ask”

From a post titled The Best Advice Ever   …

Understanding why we do certain things is the first step to change. Until we understand what motivates us, what we get from doing a particular behavior, there is no momentum to begin the change process. Likewise, by asking “Why not?” we begin assessing the risk versus reward aspect which can lead to bringing about productive change in our lives.

“Contrary to popular belief, praising children’s intelligence did not give them confidence and did not make them learn better.”

The advice comes Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of motivation at Stanford University from an article How Not to Talk to Your Kids written by Po Bronson and appeared in New York Magazine. 

“Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”

The quote below are from Carol Dweck in an article that appeared on Good Morning America titled Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids …

“Dweck found that children’s performance worsens if they always hear how smart they are. Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.”

“Choose your battles wisely”

From an article at SixWise.com called How to Most Effectively Pick Your Battles …

We’re all given a finite amount of time in a day, and it’s up to each of us to determine how to spend it. In relationships (with kids, with a spouse, and so on), we’re faced with many conflicts everyday, and you may be tempted to fight through each of these conflicts, to ensure you get your way, to prove that you’re “right,” or maybe just because you feel challenged. But most experts agree: choosing your battles wisely is a much better way of life than battling out every disagreement.

Although they may seem important at the time, most battles are NOT worth fighting.

According to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.”

It’s up to us to choose to either make a big deal or simply let it go, and, according to Dr. Carlson, if you learn to choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those battles that truly are important to you.

“Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?”

 Questions for parents from Dr Phil’s book Family First

  • Are you creating a family environment that brings out the best in your child?
  • Do you have the skills necessary to give your child his or her best chance at succeeding in this world?
  • Do you have a plan and an objective in mind for what successful parenting is and will yield in your child’s life?
  • Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?
  • Is your family nurturing your child’s individuality and acting to ensure that he or she will become the unique and authentic person God intended?

“Often wrong, but never in doubt”

Posted as a comment by Jack at Morality and Ideology …

I have an operational rule that I use in my own life. “Often wrong, but never in doubt.” I don’t mean that as a joke. In order to accomplish anything, you have to execute with confidence and certainty. On the other hand, you have to recognize that you will often be wrong. That means you must be willing to change. I know it is a paradox in theory, but it works in practice.

“You don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy”

A quote from Laura Karet, an executive from Giant Eagle supermarket chain on CNBC’s documentary Supermarkets Inc: Inside a $500 Billion Money Machine Laura Karet

“We’re very fond of the term ‘search and reapply’. And actually something my grandfather used to say … you don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy.”

“It is better to be alone than in the wrong company”

I’ve seen this article It Is Better To Be Alone Than In The Wrong Company on several sites but I haven’t identified the source …

“Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.”

“Today is the only guarantee you get”

Villanova Commencement Address by Pulitzer Prize Winner Anna Quindlen …

“Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:

Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

“Focus on those things you do better than others”

Advice is from Peter G. Peterson, Co-founder and Senior Chairman, Blackstone Group …

“Focus on those things you do better than others. That has been enormously helpful in defining our business strategies. For example, when we [Peterson and co-founder Steve Schwarzman] were setting up the Blackstone Group in 1985, many argued that Blackstone should invest in hostile LBO transactions. We felt that our advantage was that we were on friendly terms with many American CEOs and boards. So we took the contrarian position. We would only do strictly friendly investments. As a result, so-called corporate partnerships have become a major foundation – and a very profitable contribution – to our business.”

“I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them”

A must read for all parents, from Dr. Phil’s book Family First

“I want and claim the right for my children to feel appreciated and valued by me and by everyone in our family. I do not want them to ever feel alone or doubt their place in a loving and committed family.

 I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them. I may not endorse everything they do, but I will never reject them. If any member of this family feels like their contributions are not being recognized or acknowledged by others in the family, thats not okay-not now, not ever.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

From the book 7 Keys to Success by Will Edwards …

” … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.

A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it”

From a wonderful article at WomansHealth titled Mother Knows Best: 10 Tips from Mom …

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it. By that she meant to walk in with your head up and high (with) confidence. I find that’s been excellent advice. If you act as if you’re not worthy (of the job, the man, the respect), others will prey on that. But if you act as if you’re really something, that attitude will be contagious and others will respond accordingly!”

—brendacollins    

“Let people know what you want, and then proactively work to achieve it”

From a post titled Get Ready for Promotion – Showing what you can do . Communicate your desire. Here are some steps you can take to make your wishes known:

  • Identify a role or position toward which you want to work.
  • Using your knowledge of the organization, find out what experience and skills are needed to get that job.
  • Work with your boss to set performance objectives so that you can achieve the necessary skills and experience.
  • Network with people in the company. Let as many people as appropriate know what type of role interests you. Seek advice on how to prepare for that role.
  • Ask for the promotion when it becomes available. If you aren’t ready yet, use this as an opportunity to develop the skills you need.

“Life is not fair – get used to it”

Uplifting post from Lori Deschene titled 10 Reasons It’s Awesome Life’s Not Fair

“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?

I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:

9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.

8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.

2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”

Link to all 10 reasons

“The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”

According to the Harvard Business Review, “The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”

In the book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect’, John C Maxwell writes “the ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching you potential”. He defines “connecting” as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.

“…wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you”

I found this quote on the site thinkexist …

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, that’s her.”

“Make sure you are involved in a career that makes use of your top strengths”

 The above quote comes from Leanna F. from a Linkedin post. More on the topic from an article written by Pat Ferdinandi titled What Are Your Strengths? …

“Why is this so important? Life is too short to be miserable for any length of time. You want to be useful and productive to your family, coworkers, and business. You want to be appreciated for your efforts. You are appreciated more if you find positions and companies that believe in your strengths.”

“Be the best prepared guy in the room”

From a post titled The Single Best Piece of Business Advice I have ever Received. Advice from a banker with decades of experience chose to share this advice with the author of this post …

“He told me that if I wanted to succeed I had to prepare better; dig deeper to uncover the real risks; anticipate questions and objections in advance; and generally research more and speculate less. At one point he smiled and said – “Son, I’ve had a very long and successful career because I always aimed to be the best prepared guy in the room.”

This advice struck me like a thunderbolt and I never forgot it. Since that day 21 years ago it has been a bedrock principle for how I have operate. In times of uncertainty it has provided me with some protection from calamities occurring. It has reduced the number of “surprises” I encounter to a minimal level. Ultimately, it has stopped me speculating and providing opinions unless they are well-thought through.”

“You don’t know as much as you think you do. BUT you are capable of more than you can possibly imagine”

Advice is from Michael Hyatt to the Owen Graduate School of Management students and an inspiring response by Lindsey Nobles…

“What I love about these two simple sentences is that they get to the heart of the two things that have the ability to limit my success in life, and in leadership.

Pride And Fear.

I NEED to be reminded that I don’t know as much as I think I know. I need to approach my days with humility. I need to learn the art of listening with an open heart, and an open mind. And I NEED to be reminded that I am capable of more than I can would ever dare to imagine.

My fear limits my possibilities, my dreams, and my faith.”

“If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging”

From the web site Paul’s Tips

“In many cases it’s true that you shouldn’t give up too early. But at the same time, it’s a wise person who realizes when their efforts are futile.

The idea that those who keep sailing ahead despite all odds and “damn the torpedoes” are the most successful is a seductive one, and it has a certain element of truth to it. But at the same time, successful people also know when the best path is to quit. It’s simply not true that being a “quitter” is synonymous with being a “loser” in every single case. It’s time that myth was shattered.”

“the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do”

John Sculley, Apple’s former CEO talks about the “Steve Jobs methodology”…

“What makes Steve’s methodology different from everyone else’s is that he always believed the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do.”

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

From a post titled Is there something you want? Why not ask for it

“One of the big differences that I’ve noticed between those who get what they want and those who don’t comes down to one simple behavior – whether they’re willing to ask for it.

Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you’ll have a successful life or not.

Whether it’s for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy – asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.”

“Manage your own career. No one else will”

From David Maister’s informative blog, Perspective on Careers

  1. The cold, hard, truth is that you’ve got to look after yourself.
  2. You can’t assume that anyone is really looking out for your best interests (in spite of what they may say.)
  3. There may be a human resources department in your firm, managers, coaches and a mentoring system. But don’t get fooled. Your career is up to you and you alone.
  4. No one will tell you what experience you should be obtaining, let alone help you get it.
  5. If you want a specific experience, ask for it.
  6. Better yet, just go grab it.
  7. Do not expect that you will be promoted because you deserve it – it is unlikely that anyone is really keeping track.
  8. If you want to be promoted, ask to be promoted.
  9. Generally, things do not come to those who do not ask for them.
  10. None of this means you should be rude, disrespectful to others, or fail to be a team player. It just means don’t be naïve.
  11. In spite of what they may say, it’s up to you. You’re on your own, kid.
  12. Manage your own career. No one else will.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of better or good enough”

Quote by Voltaire. Its been said that life sometimes is more pass-fail than about scoring the highest grade. As Grethen Rubin writes in her article When “Good Enough” Is Better Than Perfect

“In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.”

“The hardest thing to do is to start”

Simple and concise advice from Rebecca

“Which is to say, nearly every task seems more difficult in anticipation than execution. Discipline is easy once you have momentum. Going to the gym is hard when you have to plan on going to the gym, and easy when it is simply what you always do on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Make a habit of doing rather than not doing.”

See the ten things that keep us from getting started at a post titled Whats Stopping you from Getting Started by Dustin Wax.

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for”

Maureen Dowd is credited with this quote. Informative article written by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD titled Don’t Settle

“Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don’t want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Settling becomes a habit and a way of life, but it doesn’t have to be.

People settle every day in every way. They settle for unsatisfying jobs, boring lives, and stale relationships. People settle in part because they don’t realize they can have better, or even that they deserve better. People also settle because of fear. Fear holds us back from embracing what we really want. According to Bo Bennett, “Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living, or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.”

The only way to truly embrace your greatness is to stop settling. You have to stop settling for a job that isn’t challenging, a life that isn’t fulfilling, and relationships that are uninspiring. Life is way too short to settle.”

read more …

“You can be happy or you can be right. Pick one”

Must read advice for any husband. From a post titled Happiness Factor: Being Right Instead Of Happy …

“Giving up the need to be right is one of the first steps I believe that anyone needs to take to find the happiness that is inside you. This does not mean you agree with everything that anybody says but you accept someone’s opinion as that and if you feel it necessary to share your opinion you may consider doing it in a way that stresses that you are just looking to discuss, and not convert.”

“Negotiate Everything”

 From a post title Everything is a Negotiation …

“In fact, it is more accurate to say that everything is a potential negotiation. Yet, in many situations, the effort to negotiate is not made. Fear, ignorance or complacency seem to be the usual suspects as to why we would not seek advantage.”

The post describes two techniques that are easy to master are the “flinch” and “nibbling.” …

  • “The flinch, which is one of my all time favorites, requires only that you respond to the offer, whether it be the price of a car, the insurance company’s settlement offer or the plaintiff’s demand, with a look of incredulity, then slowly repeat the offer as a question with a tone of utter disbelief. “$50,000?” Then, say nothing and wait for the other side to start making compromising gestures.
  • Nibbling is where the buyer asks for ostensibly small benefits after the price has been struck such as free delivery, no sales tax etc. The individual concessions are small but when added up can be substantial.”

Advice from Consumers Reports

  • Be prepared to walk – The most persuasive weapon you have in your haggling arsenal is your ability to walk away and spend your money someplace else.
  • Offer to pay cash – Merchants don’t like to pay transaction fees to a credit-card company. Such fees are about 2 percent for large retailers and as much as 8 percent for small ones.

My personal favorites …

  • are there any discounts or promotion you can apply to this purchase?
  • is this the best you can do? OR is there something we can do about the price?
  • is there a loyal customer discount”