Success

Live off your parents as long as possible.

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Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist. He was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Guy’s advice …

“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:

10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”

Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.

Faking confidence is the key to becoming confident

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Advice from Grace Killelea, author of the new book The Confidence Effect …

“Having confidence leads to other behaviors; like speaking up, raising your hand, taking risks, having a voice at the table,” she says.

“Faking it” doesn’t mean being inauthentic, but consciously practicing a skill until it becomes natural. “It’s like muscle memory. You have to practice, you have to get through the fear part of it, until it becomes a natural habit,” says Killelea.

 

The difference between where you are now and where you will be in five years time will be found in the quality of the books you’ve read.

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From an article by Sue Sundstrom titled 9 Best Pieces of Life Advice I Have Ever Received

Why is it a good idea to read a lot? Well, for one thing, you become smarter! Books give us access to some of the greatest minds and ideas that ever lived – we can learn from great people that we wouldn’t otherwise have access to any other way than through their books.

In the words of Jim Rohn, ‘The difference between where you are now and where you will be in five years time will be found in the quality of the books you’ve read.’

It is your responsibility to make your dreams come true

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From a post titled Take Responsibility for Your Dreams written by Yvonne Kariba …

“Most people expect the things they desire to be handed to them without much effort on their part or have convinced themselves to believe the lie that promotes over-night success.

We have to stop waiting for people to make things happen for us or to point out and recognize our greatness so that we can feel more comfortable pursuing our dreams. We have to be willing to sail unchartered waters and walk the less traveled road at times as well as bet on ourselves if we are ever bring our dreams to pass no matter how fearful, unqualified or unprepared we might feel.”

Winning is fun, but it teaches you nothing. Failure is the best teacher in the world. Winning is a trophy, failing is an education.

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From an article on Lifehack.org titled Winning is Fun, but it Teaches You Nothing ..

Winning is fun, but it teaches you nothing. Failure is the best teacher in the world. Winning is a trophy, failing is an education.

What does it mean to you to “fail better?” Better than someone else? Fail/fare a little better each time you try? Maybe it means to fail spectacularly! Go big or go home! Or how about failing but getting better along the way—getting better through failure—and learning something from the experience? I believe that is the key: to allow failure to be a springboard from which we succeed and grow.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

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The quote comes from Harvard psychologist William James. The advice below is from a post by Brian Knight titled The Power of Attitude …

“Your attitude is one of the few things in life over which you have total control.  Harvard psychologist Williams James: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”   If you want to perform at your best, and if you want to maximize your happiness and fulfillment, then you must take control of the life-shaping power of your attitude.  Please understand: developing and sustaining a positive attitude is not merely a quick-fix motivational technique. It is a disciplined skill that must be practiced and learned.”

Think Big. Start Small. Act Now.

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From an article titled THE ALL-AROUND WISDOM OF “THINK BIG, START SMALL, ACT NOW”

“THINK BIG. START SMALL. ACT NOW.”

That statement has stuck with me.

It is a simple and logical idea, really. With whatever you want to achieve in life, you should aim high and remove any false ceilings. But you should also acknowledge that any path to “big” involves starting “small” — taking a series of steps to move you gradually closer to your end goal. And even those steps begin with some kind of action, so why wait to begin?

“If You’re the Best One in the Room, You’re in the Wrong Room”

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Article titled If You’re the Best One in the Room, You’re in the Wrong Room by Eric Ravenscraft from LifeHacker.com …

It feels good to be the best. You get recognition, a sense of accomplishment, and hopefully compensation. If you’re the best person in the room, though, you’re probably not getting challenged anymore.

Being the worst person in the room gives you motivation to get better so you’re not on the bottom anymore. However, being the top of your class probably means it’s time to move on to another class. No matter where you are, as long as you’re not afraid to challenge yourself, you can continue to improve and make yourself more valuable to the room.

How To Make Your Kids Smarter: 10 Steps Backed By Science

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Article from TIME magazine by Eric Barker titled How To Make Your Kids Smarter: 10 Steps Backed By Science

9) Peer Group Matters

So what does have an enormous affect on your children’s behavior? Their peer group.

We usually only talk about peer pressure when it’s a negative but more often than not, it’s a positive.

Living in a nice neighborhood, going to solid schools and making sure your children hang out with good kids can make a huge difference.

What’s the easiest way for a college student to improve their GPA? Pick a smart roommate.

  1. Music Lessons
  2. The Dumb Jock Is A Myth
  3. Don’t Read To Your Kids, Read With Them
  4. Sleep Deprivation Makes Kids Stupid
  5. IQ Isn’t Worth Much Without Self-Discipline
  6. Learning Is An Active Process
  7. Treats Can Be a Good Thing — At The Right Time
  8. Happy Kids = Successful Kids
  9. Peer Group Matters
  10. Believe In Them

You have to keep bosses minimally happy in order to stay employed, but never lose sight of your real goals.

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Article written by Drake Baer in Fast Company ..

You will have implicit or explicit goals to be met. Machine learning engineer Michael O. Church urges us to transcend them.

“Prioritize long-term growth over short-term objectives delivered by managers,” he notes. “You have to keep bosses minimally happy in order to stay employed, but never lose sight of your real goals.”

The Simple Phrase that Increases Effort 40%

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From New York Times bestselling author Daniel Coyle’s Talent Code Blog …

“To their surprise, researchers discovered that there was one particular type of teacher feedback that improved student effort and performance so much that they deemed it “magical.” Students who received this feedback chose to revise their paper far more often that students who did not (a 40 percent increase among white students; 320 percent boost among black students) and improved their performance significantly. (See the study here.)

What was the magical feedback?

Just one phrase:

I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.

That’s it. Just 19 words. But they’re powerful because they are not really feedback. They’re a signal that creates something more powerful: a sense of belonging and connection.

Looking closer, the phrase contains several distinct signals:

1) You are part of this group.
2) This group is special; we have higher standards here.
3) I believe you can reach those standards.”

Losing Is Good for You

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By Ashley Merryman, the co-author of the book “Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing,” and author of a recent NY Times Opinion piece “Losing is Good For You”

“In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”

“our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss”

“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”

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Anders Holm, Comedian, “Workaholics” commencement speech at the University of Wisconsin-Madison …

“To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that.”

“Practice being curious, want to know things, ask questions.”

“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”

It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.

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From Reddit user bradlee92 …

“It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.”

From a tennis blog …

“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect. So every time you repeat an action, right or wrong, you will find it easier to repeat that same action, right or wrong.

Practicing a bad shot will give you a better bad shot, but you will never look like Roger Federer.”

The more a person is committed to a goal … the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient.

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From a post titled “When Is a Negative a Positive?” on Freakonomics.com.

Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago …

“The more a person is committed to a goal — and by that I mean the more someone thinks that they absolutely have to do it, they like doing it, it’s important for them to do it — the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient”

Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia Business School …

“Look, doling out negative feedback is not fun. It’s embarrassing. We feel terrible. We feel guilty.  So we love hearing, ‘Hey, maybe I don’t have to give negative feedback,’ ‘Maybe I can just say positive things!’  ‘If I just keep saying positive things, then somehow this person will work to their fullest potential and everything will turn out fine.’ And that just turns out to not be the case.”

Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do.

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Career advice from Steve Levitt co-author of Freakonomics …

“Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do. The worst thing in the world is to find some kind of job that everybody wants to do – like being a rock star.”

“You have to find something that is idiosyncratically something you love but everyone else despises. So if your dream is to be a garbage man, for instance, you’re guaranteed to have success in life.”

Take risks when you can

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From a CNNMoney feature titled The smartest advice I ever got by Chris Larsen Founder, E-Loan.com and Prosper.com …

“Cut the lifeboats.” I heard this from Jim Collins, who wrote “Built to Last” and was the best M.B.A. professor I had at Stanford. He pleaded with the class, saying, “You’re young. You can fail two or three times, even lose all your money two or three times, and you’ll be just fine. Taking that risk puts you in the path of wealth.”

If he hadn’t said that, I probably would have taken a job, like a typical M.B.A., instead of founding a company. Starting my own business seemed so risky, but maxing out credit cards or even going bankrupt isn’t so risky if you do it at a young age. You’ll never regret taking those risks, but you might regret it if you don’t.

“Sometimes quitting is strategic, and sometimes it can be your best possible plan”

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From the a podcast titled “The Upside of Quitting” on Freakononmics.com …

“To help us understand quitting, we look at a couple of key economic concepts in this episode: sunk cost and opportunity cost. Sunk cost is about the past – it’s the time or money or sweat equity you’ve put into a job or relationship or a project, and which makes quitting hard. Opportunity cost is about the future. It means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else – something that might make your life better. If only you weren’t so worried about the sunk cost. If only you could …. quit.”

‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

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From a commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 …

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

“Do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it”

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From a post titled The best advice I ever received by Bob Borson …

“This has everything to do with you making someone elses life easier. You manage to do that on a consistent basis, people come to rely on you and know that you can be counted on. Eventually, you move beyond being the first choice and become the only choice.

The caveat to this advice is if you can’t follow through, you need to let someone know the instant you realize it.”

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”

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From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies …

“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”

“Often wrong, but never in doubt”

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Posted as a comment by Jack at Morality and Ideology …

I have an operational rule that I use in my own life. “Often wrong, but never in doubt.” I don’t mean that as a joke. In order to accomplish anything, you have to execute with confidence and certainty. On the other hand, you have to recognize that you will often be wrong. That means you must be willing to change. I know it is a paradox in theory, but it works in practice.

“You don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy”

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A quote from Laura Karet, an executive from Giant Eagle supermarket chain on CNBC’s documentary Supermarkets Inc: Inside a $500 Billion Money Machine Laura Karet

“We’re very fond of the term ‘search and reapply’. And actually something my grandfather used to say … you don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy.”

“It is better to be alone than in the wrong company”

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I’ve seen this article It Is Better To Be Alone Than In The Wrong Company on several sites but I haven’t identified the source …

“Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.”

“Focus on those things you do better than others”

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Advice is from Peter G. Peterson, Co-founder and Senior Chairman, Blackstone Group …

“Focus on those things you do better than others. That has been enormously helpful in defining our business strategies. For example, when we [Peterson and co-founder Steve Schwarzman] were setting up the Blackstone Group in 1985, many argued that Blackstone should invest in hostile LBO transactions. We felt that our advantage was that we were on friendly terms with many American CEOs and boards. So we took the contrarian position. We would only do strictly friendly investments. As a result, so-called corporate partnerships have become a major foundation – and a very profitable contribution – to our business.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

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From the book 7 Keys to Success by Will Edwards …

” … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.

A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it”

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From a wonderful article at WomansHealth titled Mother Knows Best: 10 Tips from Mom …

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it. By that she meant to walk in with your head up and high (with) confidence. I find that’s been excellent advice. If you act as if you’re not worthy (of the job, the man, the respect), others will prey on that. But if you act as if you’re really something, that attitude will be contagious and others will respond accordingly!”

—brendacollins    

“Let people know what you want, and then proactively work to achieve it”

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From a post titled Get Ready for Promotion – Showing what you can do . Communicate your desire. Here are some steps you can take to make your wishes known:

  • Identify a role or position toward which you want to work.
  • Using your knowledge of the organization, find out what experience and skills are needed to get that job.
  • Work with your boss to set performance objectives so that you can achieve the necessary skills and experience.
  • Network with people in the company. Let as many people as appropriate know what type of role interests you. Seek advice on how to prepare for that role.
  • Ask for the promotion when it becomes available. If you aren’t ready yet, use this as an opportunity to develop the skills you need.

“Life is not fair – get used to it”

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Uplifting post from Lori Deschene titled 10 Reasons It’s Awesome Life’s Not Fair

“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?

I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:

9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.

8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.

2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”

Link to all 10 reasons

“The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”

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According to the Harvard Business Review, “The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”

In the book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect’, John C Maxwell writes “the ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching you potential”. He defines “connecting” as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.

“Make sure you are involved in a career that makes use of your top strengths”

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 The above quote comes from Leanna F. from a Linkedin post. More on the topic from an article written by Pat Ferdinandi titled What Are Your Strengths? …

“Why is this so important? Life is too short to be miserable for any length of time. You want to be useful and productive to your family, coworkers, and business. You want to be appreciated for your efforts. You are appreciated more if you find positions and companies that believe in your strengths.”

“Be the best prepared guy in the room”

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From a post titled The Single Best Piece of Business Advice I have ever Received. Advice from a banker with decades of experience chose to share this advice with the author of this post …

“He told me that if I wanted to succeed I had to prepare better; dig deeper to uncover the real risks; anticipate questions and objections in advance; and generally research more and speculate less. At one point he smiled and said – “Son, I’ve had a very long and successful career because I always aimed to be the best prepared guy in the room.”

This advice struck me like a thunderbolt and I never forgot it. Since that day 21 years ago it has been a bedrock principle for how I have operate. In times of uncertainty it has provided me with some protection from calamities occurring. It has reduced the number of “surprises” I encounter to a minimal level. Ultimately, it has stopped me speculating and providing opinions unless they are well-thought through.”

“You don’t know as much as you think you do. BUT you are capable of more than you can possibly imagine”

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Advice is from Michael Hyatt to the Owen Graduate School of Management students and an inspiring response by Lindsey Nobles…

“What I love about these two simple sentences is that they get to the heart of the two things that have the ability to limit my success in life, and in leadership.

Pride And Fear.

I NEED to be reminded that I don’t know as much as I think I know. I need to approach my days with humility. I need to learn the art of listening with an open heart, and an open mind. And I NEED to be reminded that I am capable of more than I can would ever dare to imagine.

My fear limits my possibilities, my dreams, and my faith.”

“If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging”

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From the web site Paul’s Tips…

“In many cases it’s true that you shouldn’t give up too early. But at the same time, it’s a wise person who realizes when their efforts are futile.

The idea that those who keep sailing ahead despite all odds and “damn the torpedoes” are the most successful is a seductive one, and it has a certain element of truth to it. But at the same time, successful people also know when the best path is to quit. It’s simply not true that being a “quitter” is synonymous with being a “loser” in every single case. It’s time that myth was shattered.”

“the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do”

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John Sculley, Apple’s former CEO talks about the “Steve Jobs methodology”…

“What makes Steve’s methodology different from everyone else’s is that he always believed the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do.”

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

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From a post titled Is there something you want? Why not ask for it

“One of the big differences that I’ve noticed between those who get what they want and those who don’t comes down to one simple behavior – whether they’re willing to ask for it.

Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you’ll have a successful life or not.

Whether it’s for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy – asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.”

“Manage your own career. No one else will”

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From David Maister’s informative blog, Perspective on Careers …

  1. The cold, hard, truth is that you’ve got to look after yourself.
  2. You can’t assume that anyone is really looking out for your best interests (in spite of what they may say.)
  3. There may be a human resources department in your firm, managers, coaches and a mentoring system. But don’t get fooled. Your career is up to you and you alone.
  4. No one will tell you what experience you should be obtaining, let alone help you get it.
  5. If you want a specific experience, ask for it.
  6. Better yet, just go grab it.
  7. Do not expect that you will be promoted because you deserve it – it is unlikely that anyone is really keeping track.
  8. If you want to be promoted, ask to be promoted.
  9. Generally, things do not come to those who do not ask for them.
  10. None of this means you should be rude, disrespectful to others, or fail to be a team player. It just means don’t be naïve.
  11. In spite of what they may say, it’s up to you. You’re on your own, kid.
  12. Manage your own career. No one else will.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of better or good enough”

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Quote by Voltaire. Its been said that life sometimes is more pass-fail than about scoring the highest grade. As Grethen Rubin writes in her article When “Good Enough” Is Better Than Perfect …

“In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.”

“The hardest thing to do is to start”

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Simple and concise advice from Rebecca …

“Which is to say, nearly every task seems more difficult in anticipation than execution. Discipline is easy once you have momentum. Going to the gym is hard when you have to plan on going to the gym, and easy when it is simply what you always do on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Make a habit of doing rather than not doing.”

See the ten things that keep us from getting started at a post titled Whats Stopping you from Getting Started by Dustin Wax.

“Rule 4 of Work: Carve Out a Niche For Yourself”

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By Richard Templar Rule 4 of Work: Carve Out a Niche For Yourself  and appeared in the Financial Times …

“The easiest way to get noticed at work (at least in the positive sense) is to find some specific way in which you are uniquely talented and use it to your advantage. Exceptional ability in a specific area will help you stand out more to the people who can promote you.”

“Carving out a niche means spotting a useful area that no one else has spotted. It might be as simple as being great at spreadsheets or report writing. It might be, like Mike, knowing something no one else does. It might be being brilliant with scheduling or budgets or understanding the system.”

Link to article …

“To excel at something, immerse yourself”

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From an informative post called 12 pieces of the best advice about money, life, and business …

“Dabbling in somethings doesn’t make you an expert. In order to become truly great at something, you have to live, breath, think, and dream it. Find every book you can read about the subject, start doing what they say, and teach others about it. You retain the highest percentage of what you learn when you share it with others.”