Children

Live off your parents as long as possible.

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Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist. He was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Guy’s advice …

“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:

10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”

Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.

Parent the child you have, not the one you wished for

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I came across this quote in an interesting post Parent The Child You Have at http://warriormummy.wordpress.com. It reminded me of a few quotes from Dr Phil’s book Family First …

“One of my goals as a parent was to help my children achieve their own goals while pursuing their own passions.”

“Authenticity is fostered when you set goals suited to the youngster’s interests, abilities, and talents.”

“One of the great responsibilities you have as a parent – and one of the greatest gifts you can give your children – is to teach them to develop their gifts fully and to build their lives around whatever it is that fulfills them.”

“Let them know, in word and action, “I am behind you, I know you can do it!”

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Parenting advice by Dr. Lisa Chu  The many ways to say, “You CAN do it!” …

“I’m saying it so that you hear my belief in your spirit, in your ability to find it in yourself to do whatever it is you need to do, to take whatever time you need to, and to be wherever you are right now. I’ll be right here to witness you – to celebrate with you, and to catch you when you fall – as you learn to trust yourself.”

 

A post by Dr. Dave Currie titled Raising Confident and Secure Children …

“Build you kids up. Believe in them. Be their greatest fan. Let them know, in word and action, I am behind you, I know you can do it!”

 

From Dr. Michele Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions … 

You might say, “I know you can do it. Hang in there.” Of course, when your son or daughter finds the task too difficult and quits, support them. Then help them recognize what they could do the next time so they do succeed.

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”

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From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies …

“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”

“Contrary to popular belief, praising children’s intelligence did not give them confidence and did not make them learn better.”

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The advice comes Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of motivation at Stanford University from an article How Not to Talk to Your Kids written by Po Bronson and appeared in New York Magazine. 

“Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”

The quote below are from Carol Dweck in an article that appeared on Good Morning America titled Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids …

“Dweck found that children’s performance worsens if they always hear how smart they are. Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.”

“Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?”

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 Questions for parents from Dr Phil’s book Family First …

  • Are you creating a family environment that brings out the best in your child?
  • Do you have the skills necessary to give your child his or her best chance at succeeding in this world?
  • Do you have a plan and an objective in mind for what successful parenting is and will yield in your child’s life?
  • Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?
  • Is your family nurturing your child’s individuality and acting to ensure that he or she will become the unique and authentic person God intended?

“I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them”

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A must read for all parents, from Dr. Phil’s book Family First …

“I want and claim the right for my children to feel appreciated and valued by me and by everyone in our family. I do not want them to ever feel alone or doubt their place in a loving and committed family.

 I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them. I may not endorse everything they do, but I will never reject them. If any member of this family feels like their contributions are not being recognized or acknowledged by others in the family, thats not okay-not now, not ever.”

“Avoiding family poverty requires three things: 1) finish high-school, 2) marry before having children and 3) marry after the age of 20”

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Former Clinton domestic policy advisor Bill Galston … “avoiding family poverty requires three things:

  1. finish high-school,
  2. marry before having children and
  3. marry after the age of 20.

Only 8 percent of families who do this are poor, while 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.”

“… there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home”

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The best advice Warren Buffet ever received.

From an exclusive interview with Yahoo! News and the Huffington Post. Warren Buffet credits his father with teaching him how to live, and explained that all parents can make a “better human being”:

“The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.”

“Start by waking up every morning and asking yourself: What can I do to make my family better? What can I do today to introduce something positive into my child’s lives?”

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This advice comes from the book Family First by Dr. Phil. He goes on to say in a later chapter …

“My family can enjoy a closer, more connected life together, sharing strength, with each person feeilng affirmed and feeling uplifted in life-changing ways. Mine can be a family that attains new levels of caring, encouragement and acceptance. My family will have opportunities to reach for the best and have the best. And most important, we leave no one behind.”

“When you choose the behavior you choose the consequences”

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Often repeated quote by Dr. Phil. Interesting article by Linda Caillouet in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Dr. Phil says choices change lives …

 McGraw told his audience that the choices people make directly affect the life changes they experience, saying, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.” He then explained that the driving force behind the choices people make is something he calls personal truth.

“It’s what you believe about yourself when no one is looking or listening,” McGraw said. “We generate the results in this life that we believe we deserve.” So how can someone with an inadequate personal truth improve it? McGraw said that, instead of just “shuffling aimlessly through life,” individuals should look for and identify their Godgiven gifts and skills, develop passions and set personal goals and priorities.

“Children Learn What They Live”

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The poem “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris …

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte