Happiness

Live off your parents as long as possible.

damalloyLeave a comment

Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist. He was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Guy’s advice …

“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:

10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”

Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.

The best advice I’ve ever been given is to cut all the negative people out my life, it makes you feel so much happier and independent.

damalloyLeave a comment

From an article by Ashley Fern titled The Types Of People You Need To Cut Out Of Your Life In Order To Be Happy

Nothing changes until we do; we cannot expect the situations around us to alter if our personal behaviors do not change. You must take responsibility for your demeanor and if it means distancing yourself from negative people, then so be it. You need to look out for yourself because when it comes down to it all, you only have yourself to blame for your failures and your triumphs.

These are the types of people you need to be wary of in life:

The Negative

If this person was ever happy or in a good mood, chances are he or she was severely intoxicated. Negative Nancy is that person who literally has the mentality of that angry old neighbor who complains 24/7. These people never bring anything positive into conversation or any social gathering. They constantly complain about every little thing, yet cannot propose any better, alternate plan.

The Judge

This is perhaps one of the worst kinds of people you could ever surround yourself with. Instead of being free and comfortable to act like the real you, you need to monitor your behavior, as this person is closely watching your every move. What kind of friend is this anyway if you cannot even be yourself around him or her? It is one thing to offer advice on certain behaviors, but it is quite another never to feel truly comfortable around your friend.

The Taker

This person will take, take and take while bringing absolutely nothing of value to the relationship. It takes two sides to have a great friendship, so if you think you are the one doing all of the work, it may be time to reevaluate your situation. It can be exhausting, frustrating and just downright hurtful if you are always the one making the effort, but as soon as you need something, this person is nowhere in sight.

The Manipulator

These people will do whatever they possibly can to get whatever they want out of any given situation. They have one priority in life and that is themselves. Actively try to disengage yourself from their manipulation, as failing to do so will only fuel their fire. As soon as you stop responding, the better off you will be.

The Unsupportive One

A good friend is someone who will support you in all of your endeavors even if he or she does not agree with you. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them so even if your venture does fail, you take that lesson with you into the future. Recognize where you went wrong and what you could’ve done to prevent such an error. The next time you try, at least you know which ways to alter your behavior. Don’t waste your time surrounded by people who don’t want to see you succeed or tear down your hopes and dreams whenever they have the opportunity.

Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

damalloy2 Comments

Matt Killingsworth, Happiness researcher TED.com video titled Want to be happier? Stay in the moment …

“Among the surprising results: We’re often happiest when we’re lost in the moment. And the flip side: The more our mind wanders, the less happy we can be.

As it turns out, people are substantially less happy when their minds are wandering than when they’re not. Now you might look at this result and say, okay, sure, on average people are less happy when they’re mind-wandering, but surely when their minds are straying away from something that wasn’t very enjoyable to begin with, at least then mind-wandering should be doing something good for us. Nope. As it turns out, people are less happy when they’re mind-wandering no matter what they’re doing. For example, people don’t really like commuting to work very much. It’s one of their least enjoyable activities, and yet they are substantially happier when they’re focused only on their commute than when their mind is going off to something else. It’s amazing.”

It is your responsibility to make your dreams come true

damalloy1 Comment

From a post titled Take Responsibility for Your Dreams written by Yvonne Kariba …

“Most people expect the things they desire to be handed to them without much effort on their part or have convinced themselves to believe the lie that promotes over-night success.

We have to stop waiting for people to make things happen for us or to point out and recognize our greatness so that we can feel more comfortable pursuing our dreams. We have to be willing to sail unchartered waters and walk the less traveled road at times as well as bet on ourselves if we are ever bring our dreams to pass no matter how fearful, unqualified or unprepared we might feel.”

People are not mind readers. Tell them what you’re thinking.

damalloy1 Comment

From 18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18 …

People will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute girl you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it; she hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given her the time of day either. In life, you have to communicate with others. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.

Evaluate Your Life Each Day with One Basic Question: Did Today Matter?

damalloyLeave a comment

Article titled Evaluate Your Life Each Day with One Basic Question: Did Today Matter? from lifehacker.com …

She suggests that you ask yourself if today mattered in the grand scheme of things, every day:

…when you ask yourself this question, chances are you’ll know the answer intuitively. Did today matter? If so, great. Do more things like it tomorrow. Can’t remember anything in particular that made a difference? Well, better change it up.

It’s deceptively simple, yet one of the most important things you can ask.

“Always have something to look forward to”

damalloy1 Comment

From a post titled Looking Forward to Something …

What’s the best way to get through rough times? Create something to look forward to in the future.

Although it sounds rather simple (and it really is) most people choose to look forward to something negative rather than positive.

When you have something positive to look forward to, you will increase your general happiness and gain more confidence over your present-day trials and tribulations.

Okay. So what are you going to do about it?

damalloyLeave a comment

From a post titled Okay. So what are you going to do about it? by Sebastian Marshall …

One of the biggest, most empowering things I ever learned was how to turn complaining into actions.

It’s very straightforward. Not always easy, but very straightforward.

After complaining, you add, “Okay, so what am I going to do about this?”

It seems so simple, but it might change your life.

You have to keep bosses minimally happy in order to stay employed, but never lose sight of your real goals.

damalloyLeave a comment

Article written by Drake Baer in Fast Company ..

You will have implicit or explicit goals to be met. Machine learning engineer Michael O. Church urges us to transcend them.

“Prioritize long-term growth over short-term objectives delivered by managers,” he notes. “You have to keep bosses minimally happy in order to stay employed, but never lose sight of your real goals.”

“brag about your spouse and let them overhear you”

damalloyLeave a comment

New York Times columnist David Brooks chatting with Alec Baldwin on his show Here’s the Thing …

“I am not smart on this but I did read a really good blog post on this. My wife would kill me if I started giving advice on how to do this. Marry someone really patient.

But I read this blog post and one of the pieces of advice was brag about your spouse and let them overhear you.”

You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.

damalloy1 Comment

Katie Couric, TV Journalist …

“The losses I’ve experienced have taught me something else: We are all terminal. You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.

These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.

damalloyLeave a comment

From Mike Rowe, host of “Dirty Jobs” from The Best (and Worst) Graduation Advice You Never Heard…

“That earlier bit about ‘not following your passion’ doesn’t mean that you should take a job you’re not passionate about. It means you should be passionate about whatever job you take. And if you aren’t, act like you are anyway. Get in early. Stay late. Always volunteer for the skut work. If I’ve learned anything from Dirty Jobs, it’s that meaningful work can be found anywhere — sewers, maggot farms, funeral homes, oil rigs. I’ve met hundreds of very successful entrepreneurs who go home every day covered in crap. Literal, actual crap. These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.”

“Sometimes quitting is strategic, and sometimes it can be your best possible plan”

damalloyLeave a comment

From the a podcast titled “The Upside of Quitting” on Freakononmics.com …

“To help us understand quitting, we look at a couple of key economic concepts in this episode: sunk cost and opportunity cost. Sunk cost is about the past – it’s the time or money or sweat equity you’ve put into a job or relationship or a project, and which makes quitting hard. Opportunity cost is about the future. It means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else – something that might make your life better. If only you weren’t so worried about the sunk cost. If only you could …. quit.”

‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

damalloyLeave a comment

From a commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 …

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”

damalloyLeave a comment

From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies …

“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”

“Arguing Is Pointless”

damalloy1 Comment

From Peter Bregman of the Havard Business Review Blog Network titled Arguing Is Pointless …

“Think about it. You and someone have an opposing view and you argue. You pretend to listen to what she’s saying but what you’re really doing is thinking about the weakness in her argument so you can disprove it. Or perhaps, if she’s debunked a previous point, you’re thinking of new counter-arguments. Or, maybe, you’ve made it personal: it’s not just her argument that’s the problem. It’s her. And everyone who agrees with her.

In some rare cases, you might think the argument has merit. What then? Do you change your mind? Probably not. Instead, you make a mental note that you need to investigate the issue more to uncover the right argument to prove the person wrong.”

“Choose your battles wisely”

damalloyLeave a comment

From an article at SixWise.com called How to Most Effectively Pick Your Battles …

We’re all given a finite amount of time in a day, and it’s up to each of us to determine how to spend it. In relationships (with kids, with a spouse, and so on), we’re faced with many conflicts everyday, and you may be tempted to fight through each of these conflicts, to ensure you get your way, to prove that you’re “right,” or maybe just because you feel challenged. But most experts agree: choosing your battles wisely is a much better way of life than battling out every disagreement.

Although they may seem important at the time, most battles are NOT worth fighting.

According to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.”

It’s up to us to choose to either make a big deal or simply let it go, and, according to Dr. Carlson, if you learn to choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those battles that truly are important to you.

“Today is the only guarantee you get”

damalloyLeave a comment

Villanova Commencement Address by Pulitzer Prize Winner Anna Quindlen …

“Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:

Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

damalloy2 Comments

From the book 7 Keys to Success by Will Edwards …

” … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.

A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”

“Life is not fair – get used to it”

damalloyLeave a comment

Uplifting post from Lori Deschene titled 10 Reasons It’s Awesome Life’s Not Fair

“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?

I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:

9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.

8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.

2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”

Link to all 10 reasons

“…wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you”

damalloy2 Comments

I found this quote on the site thinkexist …

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, that’s her.”

“Make sure you are involved in a career that makes use of your top strengths”

damalloyLeave a comment

 The above quote comes from Leanna F. from a Linkedin post. More on the topic from an article written by Pat Ferdinandi titled What Are Your Strengths? …

“Why is this so important? Life is too short to be miserable for any length of time. You want to be useful and productive to your family, coworkers, and business. You want to be appreciated for your efforts. You are appreciated more if you find positions and companies that believe in your strengths.”

“You don’t know as much as you think you do. BUT you are capable of more than you can possibly imagine”

damalloyLeave a comment

Advice is from Michael Hyatt to the Owen Graduate School of Management students and an inspiring response by Lindsey Nobles…

“What I love about these two simple sentences is that they get to the heart of the two things that have the ability to limit my success in life, and in leadership.

Pride And Fear.

I NEED to be reminded that I don’t know as much as I think I know. I need to approach my days with humility. I need to learn the art of listening with an open heart, and an open mind. And I NEED to be reminded that I am capable of more than I can would ever dare to imagine.

My fear limits my possibilities, my dreams, and my faith.”

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for”

damalloyLeave a comment

Maureen Dowd is credited with this quote. Informative article written by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD titled Don’t Settle …

“Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don’t want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Settling becomes a habit and a way of life, but it doesn’t have to be.

People settle every day in every way. They settle for unsatisfying jobs, boring lives, and stale relationships. People settle in part because they don’t realize they can have better, or even that they deserve better. People also settle because of fear. Fear holds us back from embracing what we really want. According to Bo Bennett, “Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living, or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.”

The only way to truly embrace your greatness is to stop settling. You have to stop settling for a job that isn’t challenging, a life that isn’t fulfilling, and relationships that are uninspiring. Life is way too short to settle.”

read more …

“You can be happy or you can be right. Pick one”

damalloy2 Comments

Must read advice for any husband. From a post titled Happiness Factor: Being Right Instead Of Happy …

“Giving up the need to be right is one of the first steps I believe that anyone needs to take to find the happiness that is inside you. This does not mean you agree with everything that anybody says but you accept someone’s opinion as that and if you feel it necessary to share your opinion you may consider doing it in a way that stresses that you are just looking to discuss, and not convert.”

“Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back”

damalloy1 Comment

I can’t find the source of this quote but I’m still looking. Full quote …

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning to dance in the rain”

damalloyLeave a comment

“It’s not what happens to you that matters most, but it’s how you react to what happens that does.”

“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”

Four inspirational quotes with a similar message. Unfortunately, we were only able to identify the source of the last quote. From Josh Billings …

“Life consists by in not holding good cards but in playing those you hold well”

“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you dance”

damalloyLeave a comment

Lyrics to the song “I Hope You Dance” by Leann Womack …

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you’ll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking
Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making
Don’t let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

“Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”

damalloyLeave a comment

I’m guessing I heard this advice many times in my life but it was only in the last 5 years I started adhering to it.

This advice has helped at many times in my life and particularly with dealing with my own mortality. I no longer spend hours laying in bed in a cold sweat worrying about death. It’s ok to care about the things you can’t control, but if you can’t change them, don’t waste energy obsessing over them.

“Don’t Depend on Someone Else to Make You Happy”

damalloy4 Comments

I didn’t receive alot of advice from my parents but I did get this one from my mother. For some reason, this one always stayed with me.

While researching this advice I found an interesting article titled Top Ten Things to Teach Your Daughter  written by Michelle Basile and published April 26th 2010. Michelle writes …

“A man enhances your life, not is your life: A mistake you see over and over again in young women is that they base their happiness on and around a man. A man should enhance your life, not become your life. Don’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Make yourself happy!”

This advice comes from emulzz …

“A real relationship happens when two people are happy with their lives as they are before they meet the other person, they don’t need someone else to be happy. And when these two independent people come together they realize that they may be happy alone, but this person gives them something to look forward to everyday of their life.”

“The essence of a happy life is found in the quality of our relationships!”

damalloy1 Comment

I spotted this quote in a tagline on the a blog called Relationships Matters hosted by Sonja Ridden. Sonja quotes Dr Phil in a post on her site with related advice …

“The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.”