Life

“Today is the only guarantee you get”

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Villanova Commencement Address by Pulitzer Prize Winner Anna Quindlen …

“Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:

Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

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From the book 7 Keys to Success by Will Edwards …

” … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.

A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”

“Life is not fair – get used to it”

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Uplifting post from Lori Deschene titled 10 Reasons It’s Awesome Life’s Not Fair

“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?

I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:

9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.

8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.

2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”

Link to all 10 reasons

“Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”

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I’m guessing I heard this advice many times in my life but it was only in the last 5 years I started adhering to it.

This advice has helped at many times in my life and particularly with dealing with my own mortality. I no longer spend hours laying in bed in a cold sweat worrying about death. It’s ok to care about the things you can’t control, but if you can’t change them, don’t waste energy obsessing over them.

“Find something you love doing and you’ll never work another day in your life.”

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There are a couple variations on this but this advice clearly makes our “Life’s Best Advice” top ten. We’re not sure whom to credit but “Confucius” seems to be a popular choice on the internet.

We also like this related quote from Steve Jobs of Apple Computer …

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

And one more from Eric A. Raymond with a slightly different spin …

“You can not motivate the best people with money. Money is just a way to keep score. The best people in any field are motivated by passion.”

Losing Is Good for You

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By Ashley Merryman, the co-author of the book “Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing,” and author of a recent NY Times Opinion piece “Losing is Good For You”

“In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”

“our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss”

It is your responsibility to make your dreams come true

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From a post titled Take Responsibility for Your Dreams written by Yvonne Kariba …

“Most people expect the things they desire to be handed to them without much effort on their part or have convinced themselves to believe the lie that promotes over-night success.

We have to stop waiting for people to make things happen for us or to point out and recognize our greatness so that we can feel more comfortable pursuing our dreams. We have to be willing to sail unchartered waters and walk the less traveled road at times as well as bet on ourselves if we are ever bring our dreams to pass no matter how fearful, unqualified or unprepared we might feel.”

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”

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From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies …

“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”

“It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit”

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This quote is commonly attributed to Ronald Reagan (appearently Reagan had a sign on his desk in the Oval Office with this advice) but our research suggests Harry S Truman deserves the credit.

We also like this related advice from Indira Gandhi …

“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”

Our take-away is … 1) focus on results and not recognition. 2) people around you are more likely to help you work toward your goals if they feel their efforts will be recognized in the end.

“More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person’s level of resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails.

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From an article in Harvard Business Review titled How Resilience Works

“More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person’s level of resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails. That’s true in the cancer ward, it’s true in the Olympics, and it’s true in the boardroom.”

Winning is fun, but it teaches you nothing. Failure is the best teacher in the world. Winning is a trophy, failing is an education.

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From an article on Lifehack.org titled Winning is Fun, but it Teaches You Nothing ..

Winning is fun, but it teaches you nothing. Failure is the best teacher in the world. Winning is a trophy, failing is an education.

What does it mean to you to “fail better?” Better than someone else? Fail/fare a little better each time you try? Maybe it means to fail spectacularly! Go big or go home! Or how about failing but getting better along the way—getting better through failure—and learning something from the experience? I believe that is the key: to allow failure to be a springboard from which we succeed and grow.

“Love like you’ve never been hurt, Dance like no one’s watching, Sing like no-one’s listening, Live like there’s no tomorrow”

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Again, there are many variations on this advice. We grouped these together because they all share a similar theme and tone.

This quote normally includes the phrase “Work like you don’t need the money”. Which sounds nice, but we don’t see the value of working like we don’t need the money? We like the positive message behind “Love like you’ve never been hurt”. The “Dance” & “Sing” parts are very similar and encourage stepping outside of our comfort zones. But the best piece of advice is “Live like there’s no tomorrow”.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of better or good enough”

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Quote by Voltaire. Its been said that life sometimes is more pass-fail than about scoring the highest grade. As Grethen Rubin writes in her article When “Good Enough” Is Better Than Perfect …

“In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.”

Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

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Matt Killingsworth, Happiness researcher TED.com video titled Want to be happier? Stay in the moment …

“Among the surprising results: We’re often happiest when we’re lost in the moment. And the flip side: The more our mind wanders, the less happy we can be.

As it turns out, people are substantially less happy when their minds are wandering than when they’re not. Now you might look at this result and say, okay, sure, on average people are less happy when they’re mind-wandering, but surely when their minds are straying away from something that wasn’t very enjoyable to begin with, at least then mind-wandering should be doing something good for us. Nope. As it turns out, people are less happy when they’re mind-wandering no matter what they’re doing. For example, people don’t really like commuting to work very much. It’s one of their least enjoyable activities, and yet they are substantially happier when they’re focused only on their commute than when their mind is going off to something else. It’s amazing.”

“If you want to play a game, go to where it’s played and find a way to get in. Things happen when you get in the game.”

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The full quote from Chris Mathews speech to the 2006 graduating class of Fordham University …

“Today’s Rule One: Get Yourself In The Game!

Ever watch a little kid standing alone courtside while the big kids play basketball? When a ball goes out of bounds, he runs for it and passes it back in. And as time goes on, when an older kid has to get home for dinner, somebody yells, “Hey punk, wanna play?”

That’s the heart of it there: If you want to play a game, go to where it’s played and find a way to get in.

Things happen when you get in the game”

Take risks when you can

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From a CNNMoney feature titled The smartest advice I ever got by Chris Larsen Founder, E-Loan.com and Prosper.com …

“Cut the lifeboats.” I heard this from Jim Collins, who wrote “Built to Last” and was the best M.B.A. professor I had at Stanford. He pleaded with the class, saying, “You’re young. You can fail two or three times, even lose all your money two or three times, and you’ll be just fine. Taking that risk puts you in the path of wealth.”

If he hadn’t said that, I probably would have taken a job, like a typical M.B.A., instead of founding a company. Starting my own business seemed so risky, but maxing out credit cards or even going bankrupt isn’t so risky if you do it at a young age. You’ll never regret taking those risks, but you might regret it if you don’t.

“You can be happy or you can be right. Pick one”

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Must read advice for any husband. From a post titled Happiness Factor: Being Right Instead Of Happy …

“Giving up the need to be right is one of the first steps I believe that anyone needs to take to find the happiness that is inside you. This does not mean you agree with everything that anybody says but you accept someone’s opinion as that and if you feel it necessary to share your opinion you may consider doing it in a way that stresses that you are just looking to discuss, and not convert.”

It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.

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From Reddit user bradlee92 …

“It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.”

From a tennis blog …

“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect. So every time you repeat an action, right or wrong, you will find it easier to repeat that same action, right or wrong.

Practicing a bad shot will give you a better bad shot, but you will never look like Roger Federer.”

“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you dance”

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Lyrics to the song “I Hope You Dance” by Leann Womack …

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you’ll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking
Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making
Don’t let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs”

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From the 7 Golden Rules of Life. The 1st rule …

“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced.” 

The 4th rule …
“When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.
Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours.”

List of all 7 rules

“Avoiding family poverty requires three things: 1) finish high-school, 2) marry before having children and 3) marry after the age of 20”

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Former Clinton domestic policy advisor Bill Galston … “avoiding family poverty requires three things:

  1. finish high-school,
  2. marry before having children and
  3. marry after the age of 20.

Only 8 percent of families who do this are poor, while 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.”

Live off your parents as long as possible.

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Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist. He was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Guy’s advice …

“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:

10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”

Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning to dance in the rain”

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“It’s not what happens to you that matters most, but it’s how you react to what happens that does.”

“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”

Four inspirational quotes with a similar message. Unfortunately, we were only able to identify the source of the last quote. From Josh Billings …

“Life consists by in not holding good cards but in playing those you hold well”

“Always have something to look forward to”

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From a post titled Looking Forward to Something …

What’s the best way to get through rough times? Create something to look forward to in the future.

Although it sounds rather simple (and it really is) most people choose to look forward to something negative rather than positive.

When you have something positive to look forward to, you will increase your general happiness and gain more confidence over your present-day trials and tribulations.

Okay. So what are you going to do about it?

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From a post titled Okay. So what are you going to do about it? by Sebastian Marshall …

One of the biggest, most empowering things I ever learned was how to turn complaining into actions.

It’s very straightforward. Not always easy, but very straightforward.

After complaining, you add, “Okay, so what am I going to do about this?”

It seems so simple, but it might change your life.

“If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging”

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From the web site Paul’s Tips…

“In many cases it’s true that you shouldn’t give up too early. But at the same time, it’s a wise person who realizes when their efforts are futile.

The idea that those who keep sailing ahead despite all odds and “damn the torpedoes” are the most successful is a seductive one, and it has a certain element of truth to it. But at the same time, successful people also know when the best path is to quit. It’s simply not true that being a “quitter” is synonymous with being a “loser” in every single case. It’s time that myth was shattered.”

“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”

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Anders Holm, Comedian, “Workaholics” commencement speech at the University of Wisconsin-Madison …

“To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that.”

“Practice being curious, want to know things, ask questions.”

“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

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From a post titled Is there something you want? Why not ask for it

“One of the big differences that I’ve noticed between those who get what they want and those who don’t comes down to one simple behavior – whether they’re willing to ask for it.

Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you’ll have a successful life or not.

Whether it’s for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy – asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.”

These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.

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From Mike Rowe, host of “Dirty Jobs” from The Best (and Worst) Graduation Advice You Never Heard…

“That earlier bit about ‘not following your passion’ doesn’t mean that you should take a job you’re not passionate about. It means you should be passionate about whatever job you take. And if you aren’t, act like you are anyway. Get in early. Stay late. Always volunteer for the skut work. If I’ve learned anything from Dirty Jobs, it’s that meaningful work can be found anywhere — sewers, maggot farms, funeral homes, oil rigs. I’ve met hundreds of very successful entrepreneurs who go home every day covered in crap. Literal, actual crap. These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.”

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for”

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Maureen Dowd is credited with this quote. Informative article written by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD titled Don’t Settle …

“Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don’t want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Settling becomes a habit and a way of life, but it doesn’t have to be.

People settle every day in every way. They settle for unsatisfying jobs, boring lives, and stale relationships. People settle in part because they don’t realize they can have better, or even that they deserve better. People also settle because of fear. Fear holds us back from embracing what we really want. According to Bo Bennett, “Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living, or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.”

The only way to truly embrace your greatness is to stop settling. You have to stop settling for a job that isn’t challenging, a life that isn’t fulfilling, and relationships that are uninspiring. Life is way too short to settle.”

read more …

“Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back”

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I can’t find the source of this quote but I’m still looking. Full quote …

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”

“To excel at something, immerse yourself”

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From an informative post called 12 pieces of the best advice about money, life, and business …

“Dabbling in somethings doesn’t make you an expert. In order to become truly great at something, you have to live, breath, think, and dream it. Find every book you can read about the subject, start doing what they say, and teach others about it. You retain the highest percentage of what you learn when you share it with others.”

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

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The quote comes from Harvard psychologist William James. The advice below is from a post by Brian Knight titled The Power of Attitude …

“Your attitude is one of the few things in life over which you have total control.  Harvard psychologist Williams James: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”   If you want to perform at your best, and if you want to maximize your happiness and fulfillment, then you must take control of the life-shaping power of your attitude.  Please understand: developing and sustaining a positive attitude is not merely a quick-fix motivational technique. It is a disciplined skill that must be practiced and learned.”

“Choose your battles wisely”

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From an article at SixWise.com called How to Most Effectively Pick Your Battles …

We’re all given a finite amount of time in a day, and it’s up to each of us to determine how to spend it. In relationships (with kids, with a spouse, and so on), we’re faced with many conflicts everyday, and you may be tempted to fight through each of these conflicts, to ensure you get your way, to prove that you’re “right,” or maybe just because you feel challenged. But most experts agree: choosing your battles wisely is a much better way of life than battling out every disagreement.

Although they may seem important at the time, most battles are NOT worth fighting.

According to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.”

It’s up to us to choose to either make a big deal or simply let it go, and, according to Dr. Carlson, if you learn to choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those battles that truly are important to you.

Think Big. Start Small. Act Now.

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From an article titled THE ALL-AROUND WISDOM OF “THINK BIG, START SMALL, ACT NOW”

“THINK BIG. START SMALL. ACT NOW.”

That statement has stuck with me.

It is a simple and logical idea, really. With whatever you want to achieve in life, you should aim high and remove any false ceilings. But you should also acknowledge that any path to “big” involves starting “small” — taking a series of steps to move you gradually closer to your end goal. And even those steps begin with some kind of action, so why wait to begin?

“It is better to be alone than in the wrong company”

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I’ve seen this article It Is Better To Be Alone Than In The Wrong Company on several sites but I haven’t identified the source …

“Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.”

It’s reckless, not virtuous, to blindly give people the benefit of the doubt.

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From an article titled Benefit Of The Doubt (Dr. Phil) …

“The world has changed, so the rules have to change right along with it…

There’s something we’ve been taught that just doesn’t hold anymore. What my parents taught me, what your parents taught you, just doesn’t work anymore; at least not like it once did… benefit of the doubt. We teach people that it’s a good thing to do, that it’s the Christian thing to do; it’s the positive thing to do to give our fellow man the benefit of the doubt. Why would you do that? Why would you give somebody you don’t know the benefit of the doubt? If we said “Ok, here’s what I want you to do… go out in your life and JUDGE everybody negatively” you’d go “I’m not going to do that”. Then WHY would you go out and judge them POSITIVELY?

How about we don’t do either?

How about we don’t give people the benefit of the doubt?

How about we just collect information and make an INFORMED decision in our lives instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt?”

“Focus on those things you do better than others”

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Advice is from Peter G. Peterson, Co-founder and Senior Chairman, Blackstone Group …

“Focus on those things you do better than others. That has been enormously helpful in defining our business strategies. For example, when we [Peterson and co-founder Steve Schwarzman] were setting up the Blackstone Group in 1985, many argued that Blackstone should invest in hostile LBO transactions. We felt that our advantage was that we were on friendly terms with many American CEOs and boards. So we took the contrarian position. We would only do strictly friendly investments. As a result, so-called corporate partnerships have become a major foundation – and a very profitable contribution – to our business.”

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it”

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From a wonderful article at WomansHealth titled Mother Knows Best: 10 Tips from Mom …

“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it. By that she meant to walk in with your head up and high (with) confidence. I find that’s been excellent advice. If you act as if you’re not worthy (of the job, the man, the respect), others will prey on that. But if you act as if you’re really something, that attitude will be contagious and others will respond accordingly!”

—brendacollins    

“Arguing Is Pointless”

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From Peter Bregman of the Havard Business Review Blog Network titled Arguing Is Pointless …

“Think about it. You and someone have an opposing view and you argue. You pretend to listen to what she’s saying but what you’re really doing is thinking about the weakness in her argument so you can disprove it. Or perhaps, if she’s debunked a previous point, you’re thinking of new counter-arguments. Or, maybe, you’ve made it personal: it’s not just her argument that’s the problem. It’s her. And everyone who agrees with her.

In some rare cases, you might think the argument has merit. What then? Do you change your mind? Probably not. Instead, you make a mental note that you need to investigate the issue more to uncover the right argument to prove the person wrong.”

“Often wrong, but never in doubt”

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Posted as a comment by Jack at Morality and Ideology …

I have an operational rule that I use in my own life. “Often wrong, but never in doubt.” I don’t mean that as a joke. In order to accomplish anything, you have to execute with confidence and certainty. On the other hand, you have to recognize that you will often be wrong. That means you must be willing to change. I know it is a paradox in theory, but it works in practice.

The more a person is committed to a goal … the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient.

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From a post titled “When Is a Negative a Positive?” on Freakonomics.com.

Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago …

“The more a person is committed to a goal — and by that I mean the more someone thinks that they absolutely have to do it, they like doing it, it’s important for them to do it — the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient”

Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia Business School …

“Look, doling out negative feedback is not fun. It’s embarrassing. We feel terrible. We feel guilty.  So we love hearing, ‘Hey, maybe I don’t have to give negative feedback,’ ‘Maybe I can just say positive things!’  ‘If I just keep saying positive things, then somehow this person will work to their fullest potential and everything will turn out fine.’ And that just turns out to not be the case.”

The best advice I’ve ever been given is to cut all the negative people out my life, it makes you feel so much happier and independent.

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From an article by Ashley Fern titled The Types Of People You Need To Cut Out Of Your Life In Order To Be Happy

Nothing changes until we do; we cannot expect the situations around us to alter if our personal behaviors do not change. You must take responsibility for your demeanor and if it means distancing yourself from negative people, then so be it. You need to look out for yourself because when it comes down to it all, you only have yourself to blame for your failures and your triumphs.

These are the types of people you need to be wary of in life:

The Negative

If this person was ever happy or in a good mood, chances are he or she was severely intoxicated. Negative Nancy is that person who literally has the mentality of that angry old neighbor who complains 24/7. These people never bring anything positive into conversation or any social gathering. They constantly complain about every little thing, yet cannot propose any better, alternate plan.

The Judge

This is perhaps one of the worst kinds of people you could ever surround yourself with. Instead of being free and comfortable to act like the real you, you need to monitor your behavior, as this person is closely watching your every move. What kind of friend is this anyway if you cannot even be yourself around him or her? It is one thing to offer advice on certain behaviors, but it is quite another never to feel truly comfortable around your friend.

The Taker

This person will take, take and take while bringing absolutely nothing of value to the relationship. It takes two sides to have a great friendship, so if you think you are the one doing all of the work, it may be time to reevaluate your situation. It can be exhausting, frustrating and just downright hurtful if you are always the one making the effort, but as soon as you need something, this person is nowhere in sight.

The Manipulator

These people will do whatever they possibly can to get whatever they want out of any given situation. They have one priority in life and that is themselves. Actively try to disengage yourself from their manipulation, as failing to do so will only fuel their fire. As soon as you stop responding, the better off you will be.

The Unsupportive One

A good friend is someone who will support you in all of your endeavors even if he or she does not agree with you. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them so even if your venture does fail, you take that lesson with you into the future. Recognize where you went wrong and what you could’ve done to prevent such an error. The next time you try, at least you know which ways to alter your behavior. Don’t waste your time surrounded by people who don’t want to see you succeed or tear down your hopes and dreams whenever they have the opportunity.